aftermath
by kaiakills
Summary: Akira struggles when he finds out he never really loved Nobuko, but Shuji. yaoi and pssible violence. Spoilers: it's called aftermath for a reason... destroys the ending if you arent there yet.
1. Chapter 1

Aftermath

Akira's head was spinning. With Nobuko still at their old school, he and Shuji had spent a lot more time together, one-on-one, and he was starting to second guess his feelings for Nobuko. Maybe he'd never really loved her, but he had gotten his feelings for her confused with his feelings for Shuji.

The school was silent. He wondered why that was until his memory caught up with him. Of course the school was silent. No one was there. It was the weekend. He shoved his hands in his pockets and escaped for the roof.

He leaned over the fence which lines the edge. Most people found him to be stupid and loud, but the silence comforted him. Everyone in the new school knew of his wealth, and it was nice to escape all the questions he'd managed to avoid at his previous school. And with Shuji gone, he was able to sort his mind.

He slammed his back against the chain fencing and allowed himself to slide to the floor. What was he going to do? He couldn't tell Shuji. He was so popular and he'd already found a girlfriend. Not to mention he was sure Shuji wasn't into guys. Despite their almost kiss a few months ago, Akira doubted he'd ever get close enough to do anything and be able to pass it off as an accident.

"Why did I even come here?" he asked himself. Nobuko had told him to, of course, but he felt all to relieved to hear her say it. Had he really wanted to see Shuji so bad that he would abandon such a good friend? She was all alone at that school, all because of his selfish desires.

He took the keychain from his back and held it gingerly in front of himself. "Nobuko, forgive me. I'm so selfish."

"What did you do this time?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway.

Shuji leaned against the framing. Akira had to force himself from tackling the boy to the ground. Instead, he held his hand up in it's usual, wolf-like pose. "Kon."

Shuji did the same, though it seeme3d almost foolish, and a little cute, shen he did it. He proceeded toward his friend. "You still have that old thing? I'd figured you lost it."

"How could I? I loved Nobuko." He lied. He couldn't tell Shuji the truth. He'd just have to endure the heartache for another year. "hey, what are you doing here anyway?"

"Just needed to get out, I guess. But what about you?"

Akira sighed. "Same."

"But you never talk to that woman you're living with. Who do you need to escape from?"

"No one, but being here… it brings back memories. Isn't that why we're always spending time here during school?"

"Yea, I guess your right. I miss her too. But, hey. We've got to get over it. We'll go visit her after we graduate. Just one more year and—"

"Those aren't the memories." He didn't mean to say it, but he couldn't stop the words.

"Then, what memories where you talking about?"

He hesitated, not sure of whether or not he should reply. "th—that one time… when we where teaching Nobuko about guys…"

"that's a good memory? But, you said you loved her… wouldn't that have pissed you off."

"I'm not talking about you and Nobuko! I'm talking about you and me… showing her."

Shuji raised an eyebrow, urging him on with his expressions. When that failed to work, pleaded for him to continue. "And…?"

"You almost kissed me that time."

Shuji relaxed a bit. "Oh, that? Yea, that was pretty funny. By the way, I never apologized for that. I guess I just got caught up in the moment, and then I was all close. It must have made you feel uncomfortable."

Akira sighed. Why did he have to be so oblivious? Then Akira would be forced to tell him straight. "Yea, we had some wild times producing Nobuko, didn't we?"

Shuji nodded. "You matured a lot more after meeting her. Even after we left, you've changed a lot."

Akira shrugged. He'd noticed it too, but he knew it wasn't Nobuko that sparked the change. She had just been the one to bring him closer to Shuji. He was the one that changed him. "Well, she wasn't the only one deserving credit. Besides, what about you? You used to cling to popularity with your life. Now you trail behind me all the time."

"You're popular here, so it helps me, right?"

"I'm only popular because I flew in on a helicopter the first day of school. admit it, you like hanging out with me."

"Ok, you're right. With you things are… never boring. You Always surprise me, Akira."

"I've got a bigger surprise for you later." Akira mumbled under his breath.

"what was that?" Shuji asked, confused by the solemn tone.

Akira stood and smiled falsly at him. "nothing, I'll see you tomorrow." He started to head out the door, but turned to Shuji before descending the steps. " by the way, meet me here for lunch. There's something I need to tell you.


	2. Chapter 2

Akira couldn't stop thinking about what he had said to Shuji. He felt so stupid for telling him that. Why did he even ask him to meet him on the roof? Did he plan to confess? The words slipped out of his mouth before he could even process them, and now he'd have to tell Shuji something or how would things work? He'd look like a complete idiot for calling him up therew for no reason.

Well, he was a complete idiot, so he figured it wouldn't change anything.

"What do I do?" Akira asked himself, expecting his conscience to reply, but no thoughts came to mind. He was completely stunned.

"Shit, shit, shit! Why is my mind so blank?!" he knocked his fist against his head repetitively, as if causing himself further brain damage would somehow create an idea. "there has to be some way out of this…"

A thought entered his mind. "Anna!" Anna Kizuya was one of Akira's best friends, and Shuji had always thought he liked her. If he could recreate that same scene, maybe he could really get that kiss.

The thought immediately left his mind. Even if it would work, it would mean having to confess to someone who didn't need to know. Besides, he wouldn't make her lie for his sake.

His head tilted back in the chair, and he stared blindly at the bare ceiling. "Why am I so stupid?" He asked himself. "I can't do anything right."

He couldn't stand to be in the room any longer. He left the solitude of his bedroom to raid the refrigerator of the woman he'd been staying with.

The woman was in her late thirties, and she had known Akira since birth. She'd been a close frined of his mother's before, and she immediately took him in when he moved nearby.

It wasn't that he couldn't get his own place: his father had plenty of money to spare, but he'd rather live with someone he could connect with. _Someone like Shuji, _he thought.

The woman watched him cautiously as he walked down the steps and to the kitchen silently. Lately he hadn't been his usual, crazy self. He'd been like this: quiet, and seemingly depressed.

He took an apple from the refridgerator, and immediately turned toward the stairs.

"Akira…" the woman called with obvious concern. "Are you okay. If you'd like to talk, we can."

He sighed and sat at the table in front of her, contorting his face into one of his bizarre expressions.

"You've been acting very different lately. Is something bothering you?"

He knew that she would uncover his mood. And once she did, she'd never let it go. "I guess I've just had a lot on my mind. It's just this… girl."

"Oh, and what is she like?"

"I've been friends with her for a while now, but our feelings are totally different. She doesn't see me as more than a close friend, but it's difficult to be around her if I cant be with her."

"Have you ever asked her how she feels?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Well maybe you should." She interrupted, raising her voice only slightly so he could hear her over his own excuses. "You don't know how she feels until you say something."

Akira sighed and left for his room without a word. A lot of help she was. She didn't even understand the issue. Shuji was a guy, and one who relied on popularity. Even if he was interested, if anyone where to find out… he couldn't put Shuji through all that.

Instead, he'd thought of a better plan. He'd get rid of Shuji by telling him the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

His hands where shaking and he couldn't stop his mind from rejecting his plan immediately. What was he thinking? Of course Shuji wouldn't feel the same way.

Shuji walked up the steps, looking a bit irritable bout the second meeting, though he'd seemed fine with it yesterday. He sighed, sitting down beside Akira and forcing himself to relax.

"What's wrong?" Akira asked in his usual, playful voice.

Shuji's face fell again. He leaned against the cool metal of the fence. "Anna rejected me. It's like I said, she likes you. And you like her, so why not ask her out?"

"First, I never said that. You assumed. Which is bizarre since you're usually oblivious to those things. Besides, you like her so why bother?"

"I got rejected, so it's not a problem anymore. Ask her."

Akira allowed his head to sway toward Shuji, just a few inches from his face. It tormented him to do so, but it was how Shuji knew him, so it only seemed natural. "no," he stated flatly before swinging his head away and standing to face the streets, his fingers entwined in the wiry fence.

Shuji stood and leaned on the fence beside him, facing the opposite way. "fine. I guess it would hurt me a little, but it wouldn't be because I liked her. More so that she preferred someone else, that would bother me. I guess it's my ego acting up again." His head turned to Akira, but he pretended not to notice.

Akira laughed once. "You do have a big ego." He smiled, still now facing Shuji.

"So… what did you want to tell me? It sounded important."

Akira cringed. Naturally, he'd only extended the Anna conversation to buy himself time. Now he was out, and the time for his confession had come. He put his forehead to the fence. "It's nothing." He said as he pushed his body away and took a few swaying steps toward the door.

Shuji rushed to his side. "seriously, if it's bothering you, tell me. We're," he seemed to struggle with the word. Never had he said them to Akira, "friends… right?"

Akira was shocked to hear him use the words he'd been denying for so long, but he was to troubled to cling to the words. "yea… I guess."

Shuji took a step back, arms crossed over his chest in a stern stance. "what's that mean?"

"I just… it could be more than friendship, cant it?" the words came out before his mind processed it. He cursed at himself mentally. He'd finally made his confession, though… right?

"I'm lost. More? But after friendship there's…"

Akira's eyes fell. "I know" was all he could think of. No other words would come to him.

"But… we're both…"

"I know!" he screamed. It took him a moment to compose himself. He stepped to Shuji's side, put his arm around Shuji and put his lips a few inches from Shuji's ear as he'd done so many times before. But this time it was different. Shui knew, and the tension in the air only grew stronger. "It's fine. I won't do anything."

Shuji pushed way from him, looking back at him with wide eyes before rushing back into the school. Akira went back to his place at the fence and watched somberly as Shuji rushed from the school grounds. He allowed a few tears to escape, but no more. He left the school, along with the first friend he'd ever known.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Akira walked the halls in silence. Occasionally, one of his "friends" would say something to him, but he'd only half listen, with his only response being a nod of the head or a whispered agreement. He wasn't even bothering to keep his careless demeanor… except when Shuji was around. For some reason he couldn't explain, he felt he had to take his rejection lightly in front of him. Perhaps because he thought Shuji would come back to him if he thought Akira didn't love him like he did. If he could make it seem like he didn't care. If things seemed meaningless, he'd get his friend back, right?

He sighed. The whole point of telling Shuji was to drive him away, and yet he felt even worse now that he was gone. His friend Sota was chatting aimlessly beside him, but he hadn't heard a word the boy said. He'd just walked with him, head down, thinking about what a huge mistake he'd made. Not only did Shuji now hate him, but the whole school would probably know soon; it was just so like Shuji to tell them.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught his old friend turning the corner toward them. He threw his arm around Sota, forcing what he hoped seemed like an effortless smile to his lips. Sota eyed him suspiciously, obviously dumbfounded by the spontaneous change of mood.

"Are you alright, Kusano?"

His thoughts where still on Shuji, s he hadn't been paying attention. "eh? Oh, me? I'm fine! Continue."

He stared at him in shock another moment before rambling on about some girl in his English class. That was all Akira had gotten out of the conversation. His eyes where on Shuji, ho glared menacingly as he walked past. Why was he so angry? It wasn't like he'd tried to kiss him.

He looked back, making sure Shuji had turned the corner before dropping his arm from his friend's shoulder and letting his head fall again.

"Alright, what's up?"

Akira didn't answer. He was still preoccupied.

"Hel-lo!" Sota was at his ear now, yelling all too loud for uncomforting closeness.

"Huh? Oh… what?"

Sota made an irritated sound. "What's with you today? You totally ignore me, then you get all cheery and still ignore me, and now you're all depressed again. What's going on?"

Akira thought about telling him an edited version of the story, but he decided it would be best to keep everything quiet, at least for the time being. It was up to Shuji whether or not the school should know, and he was betting on it happening by week's end.

He put on another fake smile, thought he doubted it was as convincing as the first. "Nothing. I'm going to class." He rushed off before Sota could protest, immediately taking his seat… behind Shuji.

He chatted with a few people in class, just to hide his mood, thought most of the time he didn't even know what they where talking about. He was sure he'd said something that didn't make any sense, but he didn't realy care. It was a typicalthing for him to do. Shuji just sat there with his arms crossed, and everyone in class had noticed the tension between us.

When class started, Akira decided to take action. He tapped Shuji on the shoulder. When he didn't turn around, he began poking him repetitively until he finally turned, his face hard and enraged.

"What do you want?" he whispered coldly.

"Aw, don't be so mean."

He started to turn with an angry grunt, but Akira caught his arm. Shuji turned back to him, disgusted that he'd touched him. "Shu-ji kun." He said his name, breaking the word apart.

"What?!" he asked in a violent whisper, and Akira was thankful for the teacher's bad hearing. The several sets of eyes that fell on them made him a bit uncomfortable, though.

"I needed to talk to you. Can we—"

"No. no more meetings. I'm never going to that damned roof again. Especially not with you." He tried to turn, but Akira's fingers where still wrapped securely around his arm. "Let go."

Akira kept his arm there fro a while more, his fingers so tight his short nails where digging into Shuji's skin. Their eyes met, and the fire in Shuji's eyes scared him. He didn't bother to hide his discomfort any more. He hesitated, his lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes swelling with liquid, before letting his friend's arm go.

"If you change your mind, you'll know where to find me."

Shuji turned sharply, and he didn't look back once through the rest of the class.


	5. Chapter 5

i am apologizing once again for another idiotic mistake on my part. what was on here before had nothingot do with NWP. that was for a Death Note fanfiction. i apologize for my stupid stupidity. this wont be the last time.

Chapter 5

Akira sat there. On the roof. Alone. No one but him. Alone. Shuji's violent face on his mind. Alone.

That word began to annoy him. _Alone._ That's all he'd been thinking all day. He wasn't, though. He had plenty of friends. Everyone wanted to be friends with the rich kid who made his grand entrance by helicopter. But they weren't true friends: Shuji was. And without him, he just felt so… alone.

He slammed his fist into his head, trying to beat the cursed word from his mind, but to no avail. It kept echoing there, and as he sat awaiting his dear friend's arrival, it's echoing became louder and louder until it was all that was on his mind. He couldn't concentrate. At least, until footsteps approached him. He began lifting his head slowly, fighting a grin the whole way. "Shu-ji ku—"

But it wasn't Shuji. It was Sota, looking a bit irritated. "Kiritani told me to tell you to get lost. He said he's not coming."

Akira got to his feet, a little confused. "Um.. What? Why did he send you? You guys aren't even friends."

"I believe his words where 'you two looked awfully "cozy" today, so why don't you send him a little message for me'. What an asshole! Honestly, why do you even hang out with him?"

"I don't… not anymore." He couldn't fight back the sadness in his voice. He immediately shook off the fact that Shuji hadn't shown up. Of course he didn't. He said he wouldn't. Akira cursed under his breath.

"Well, that's a relief. What where you waiting for him for anyway?"

"I just needed to talk with him."

"What for?"

"I just did, okay!" Akira took a minute to calm himself. "look, things between Shuji and me are complicated right now. Can we just leave it at that?"

Sota crossed his arms. "What happened to you? Ever since yesterday you've been a total ass to everyone in school. I thought nothing would faze you,with that happy go lucky personality, but obviously something's going on. I'll find out either way, so you might as well tell me."

Akira grabbed his back and shoved passed Sota. "I'm going home."

"It's lunch. We still have classes."

"I don't care! I'm not staying here."

Akira didn't go home. He did, however, skip every class he had after lunch to hide under the staircase while he awaited the next bell to ring. When it did, he headed back to the roof.

Everything was silent: there wasn't a soul around to disrupt his thoughts. He paced back and forth over the poured concrete of the roof, where he, Shuji, and Nobuko had spent so much of their time in their old school. He missed her, of course, but not nearly as much as he missed Shuji.

Akira's pace quickened, until he was somewhere between a quick walk and a run. His eyes kept flickering to the short cement wall on the opposite side of the roof. He kept thinking it was the perfect height for him to jump off the roof.

He immediately shook the thought from his mind. Suicide never solved anything: you'd just have a miserable afterlife, if you believed in those things. Akira didn't, exactly: he believed in finding out, but he wasn't ready to just yet.

And so, his heartache continued, never resting for even a moment, for the next three weeks. That was when Shuji began speaking to him again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

As had become his typical routine, Akira went straight to his first class and sat in his seat immediately after arriving at school. He had no need for communication. Not anymore. And as was typical, Shuji went to his seat directly in front of him, only to sulk the whole time because Akira had beaten him to his seat and he had no desire to talk to anyone either.

Class hadn't started yet, but Akira had already noticed something was wrong with the situation. Within a few minutes, Shuji had completely relaxed and no longer crossed his arms over his chest.

Akira noticed little things like that. He always had, even if hadn't realized it before. He'd always been bizarrely aware of everything Shuji did. He knew every face; every expression he'd make. He didn't even have to see his face, though; there where microscopic changes in the way he carried himself and Akira could immediately pick up on his mood by the way he set his shoulders or how evident his muscles where.

The first bell chimed, and Akira quickly relaxed. Usually the teacher could distract him enough that he would only spend half the class staring at Shuji's back.

Shuji turned around, his face a bizarre mix of anger and depressed. Akira thought his stern expression was false, but he immediately shook it off. Why bother faking it?

"We need to talk."

"Huh?" Akira was shocked. About what?"

"It's about what you said… last time. About… our friendship."

Akira fell back in his chair, trying to seem cool and unaffected, but the chair fell from beneath him and he found himself on the floor. "There's nothing to talk about." He told him while he pulled himself up and put the chair under the desk. He walked away, preparing to find someone else to talk to until class began and Shuji could no longer speak for fear of getting in trouble with the teacher.

But, to Akira's surprise, he followed, grabbing his arm with the same determination Akira had three weeks ago. Before he gave up on their friendship.

"Roof. Lunch. I know you'll be there. I will be too." He said. He hadn't said it with his usual, cool demeanor, though. He said it with such desperation that he could't seem to form a sentence. "Please."

Akira turned to him, a bit upset at first. But he held up his hand in a shadow puppet wolf, kissing the pads of his two middle fingers. "Kon."

What kind of answer is that?" Shuji asked, irritated.

"It isn't one. You'll know when you get there."

He went back to his seat just as the second bell rang, pleased both with himself and Shuji's words.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry it took me so long to post this. Apparently I've already written to chapter 10.

Chapter 7

During lunch, Akira paced the classroom repetitively. He had to admit, I was curious as to what Shuji wanted. He knew what he had said was completely rejected, but something about the _way_ Shuji spoke to him made him desperately want to rush to the roof and speak with him. He couldn't tell if it was impatient or desperate, but it was definitely one of the two. He was in a hurry to tell Akira something. But what?

_But, _Akira thought to himself,_ if I make this seem like a big deal, I'll only scare him off again. _He forced himself to promise not to go. If he did, Shuji would know his feelings haven't changed, and what if that's all he wanted all along? Then Akira would have to go home, heartbroken, and he'd probably lock himself away in his room as was becoming routine for him lately.

No, he had to continue that careless attitude he'd worked so hard to produce. He knew he wasn't fooling anyone, but he thought maybe if he could fool himself by acting that way, he might stop loving Shuji.

He thought about it again. This was ridiculous. He should just go see what the problem was, comeback down, finish his classes, and leave the school like everyone else. It was foolish of him to have complicated things so much. He leaped from the desk, but the bell rang just after he'd taken the first step. His legs folded involuntarily beneath him, and he found himself on the floor with his eyes at his shoes. _Idiot!_ He screamed mentally.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

That voice. So familiar. But, if he was on the roof, how had he gotten there so quickly? Another chime entered through his ear, and he jumped slightly at the sound before stumbling to his desk on the opposite side of the room. Shuji sighed and sat gracefully in his seat. He immediately began chatting with a group nearby.

After class, Shuji caught Akira by the arm. "So it was a no? Or did you want to go, but you where scared?"

Akira cursed at himself. How could he possibly be so accurate? "What's that mean? I wasn't scared. I told you you'd get your answer, and you did."

Shuji's hand was still wrapped around his wrist, strangling the vain in anger. Akira pulled it away, surprised by how easily Shuji had let go. "I'm not going to say anything cruel, so don't be afraid. We're still friends, right?"

"What are you talking about?! _You _ran away. _You_ where the one that was scared. _You _hurt me, Shuji. What makes you think we're still friends?" he smiled his false smile, knowing Shuji had no answer for him.

Shuji couldn't speak. He had this bizarre, pained expression. The same expression he wore when he'd told them he was moving. The expression that screamed loneliness. Akira turned away, not longer able to look through those lonesome eyes.

At last, he got the courage to turn around, and Shuji's head rose with poorly hidden delight. Akira leaned close to him, his lips inches from Shuji's. Just enough to make his "friend" cringe slightly. "Ba-ka!" he turned on his heels, his head falling back slightly as he began walking away. "It's your fault. Get over it."

Shuji stood there, surprised at the coldness that shone through Akira's well-composed face. But his friend didn't look back, for he refused to let Shuji see the tears in his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Akira didn't remember how he'd gotten there. He hadn't remembered rushing up the steps. He didn't remember the door opening, clearing his view of the clear sky. He didn't remember entwining his fingers in the fence just before falling to his knees. Yet there he was. On the roof. Where it all began… and where it had ended. Because of him. And, worst yet, he couldn't control the river of tears that was now pouring from his eyes. It had been a long time since he'd cried. It felt like an eternity.

He turned back to the short wall at the opposite end of the roof, then back through the diamond shapes of the fence at the ground. It was several floors above, and he was certain to die. At the very least, he'd leave with a few broken bones. If he survived. But he had no intention of that. If he was going to do it, he had better do it right.

He took several cautious steps toward the platform, his breath heavy, his hands shaking. _He hates me. _step_. I'll never win with him. _step. _What's the use? _Step.

He found himself staring straight down at a large group of trees, only feet from the roof. Their heavy canopy was sure to slow his fall. It wouldn't work.

He eased himself down, but a voice called to him from behind, and he turned, losing his balance and falling off the ledge. Fortunately… or rather, unfortunately, one of the stronger branches caught him, knocking him breathless.

"Ow!"

By the time he'd managed to free himself and allowed his body to topple to the ground with a muffled _thud, _Shuji had managed to get down the stairs. He rushed to his friend's side, taking him in his arms. "Are you okay?"

Akira was thrilled, though he wouldn't let it show. He shrugged his hand off and got to his feet. He began walking down the sidewalk.

"What where you doing up there any way?" he still didn't stop. "Did you plan on killing yourself or something?"  
Akira turned, began walking toward him in a mocking tone. "Yep. I was so heart broken over you," he put both hands on Shuji's shoulder and leaned toward him. "I planned on killing myself." He laughed hysterically to cover his quivering lip.

"You really are an idiot!" Shuji screamed, pushing him aside.

"Wait." Shuji stopped and turned unwillingly toward who was once his best friend. "What was it you wanted to say to me?"

He looked away, not angrily, though. More timid than anything. "It's nothing, really. I've just… thought a lot about what you had said."

"So, you plan on telling me to go back to Nobuko, then? That's fine. I'll leave tomorrow. Transfer back."

"Don't!" Shuji cried, causing Akira to jump from the unexpected wail. Shuji composed himself, lowering his voice to a near inaudible whisper to ensure he wouldn't cry. "Don't. It's not like that."

Akira eyed him suspiciously. "Its not? And since when are you like this? Why are you being such a baby?"

Shuji ignored the last statement. "It's not. I've thought a lot about it a lot. I don't think it's wrong anymore. But, I still can't go out with you."

"So nothings changed. What was the point, Shuji?"

"I still want us to be friends. I hate not talking to you, but things have just been so weird, I couldn't say anything. There was nothing."

"And how are things different now?"

"I can accept the fact that you're gay, and move on with my life."

"I'm not gay! It's just because it's you."

"What's so special about me. like you said, all I car about is my reputation."

"That's not true. You cared about Nobuko. You cared about me. You cared about everyone around you, but you thought so much about that damn reputation of yours you blocked it all out, and pretended you didn't care at all."

"Akira…"

"Never thought you'd have to hear it from me, did you?! It's not like I ever cared about anything, right? I'm just loud and obnoxious, no? You think I don't think things over? You're wrong. I thought this over countless times. I thought I could get rid of you by saying something, but I felt so empty when you weren't there, I couldn't take it. And now this?! You think I'll be able to stand it? I can't just be friends with you. Not anymore."

"You wasted all this energy trying to win me back, and now you don't even want it? Why can't you just make up your mind?!"

Akira looked down shyly. "I don't know." He admitted.

He didn't realize what was happening, until suddenly he found Shuji's arms wrapped tightly around his neck, his face buried in his shoulder. "What I'm about to do is a one time thing, so don't ever expect it again. And if anyone finds out, I'll kill you. Can you handle it?"

Akira was stunned for a moment, but his voice finally came out in a harsh whisper. "I think so."

Shuji's hand gripped his neck, and slowly pulled him to his lips. Akira's eyes remained open. For some reason, his mind hadn't properly processed the last statement, so he was shocked by the kiss. He couldn't breath, and he legs felt limp. His knees collapsed from beneath him, and he backed away quickly.

"Ok, ok, ok. I—i—I think I'll go home now. See you layer." He ran from the school as quickly as he could.

Shuji just stood there laughing. "Even now, he's such an idiot."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Akira found himself pacing wildly once again. Had it really happened? Had Shuji actually kissed him? And, most importantly: WHY THE HELL DID HE RUN?! What kind of idiot collapses and escapes his first kiss, especially when it's with the person that's been on their mind for almost a year. Was there something wrong with him? Was he really that stupid?"

A knock at the door sent a jolt through his body, and he rushed to answer it, still a shaking from the kiss. But, of course, who else but Shuji, the last person he wanted to see at such a time, would be standing on his doorstep. He removed his shoes and stepped inside, despite the fact that Akira's jaw was hanging open in protest. He turned around with that same, dumbfounded expression frozen on his face.

"What? I already told you we're friends again. I planned on asking in school, but I decided to surprise you. We have exams tomorrow, so I plan on studying here."

"What's wrong with your house?"

"My brother has company. Too much noise."

"What's this really about?"

"Getting you to actually study. And what school are you applying for?"

"I don't know yet. What bout you?"

"I'm thinking about Todai."

"Todai? You'll never get in."

"What are you talking about? My grades are great."

"Huh?! Seriously?"

"We've been friends for how long, and you still don't know my marks?"

"Like I pay attention to such pointless things."

"It won't be pointless when the future comes around. You can't live off your father forever, you know."

"But I could take over the company for him."

"You never will. You hate that company, remember?"

Akira glared. "Must have slipped my mind."

"Well, why don't you slip beside me so we can actually work?"

Akira waved him off. "I have better things to do."

"What? Like stare at the walls? Practice chopping bricks. I'm still horrified by that, by the way. No, no." he grabbed him by the shoulders, led his unwilling body to the table, and sat him down. "We're studying."

He stared at Shuji for a long time, but he never looked up. Did he really care this much about what would happen to Akira? He finally turned to the books set in front of him and flipped through the pages.


	10. Chapter 10

last chapter! i may write an epilogue, though.

Chapter 10

Akira sighed as Shuji rode his bicycle, unaffected by the previous day's events, to school. How could he take such a thing so lightly? Why was he so cheerful while Akira was panicking?

Shuji looked behind him at his close friend. "So slow. Hurry up, or we'll be late."

But Akira's feet couldn't pedal fast enough. He was too distracted. Ever since he felt Shuji warm lips on his, it'd been all that occupied his mind. He tried to force those thoughts away, but he couldn't find the strength. He did, however, manage to catch up to Shuji at last.

They joined the crowd of students entering the school, side by side, as they used to, but there was a different feeling there. That first kiss had left him breathless, and now he wanted more and more from Shuji. But he knew that to be impossible.

Anna walked beside them, and she and Shuji spoke casually, though she kept eyeing Akira. Finally, she took Shuji's arm and led him away from Akira, leaving him alone once more.

Shuji didn't talk for the rest of the morning. Rather, he just sat there, scratching his head menacingly in thought. Akira thought seriously about asking what exactly happened, but he thought it best to let him tell him himself when he was ready.

But he didn't say a word to him all morning, so when Shuji grabbed his arm desperately just before lunch, Akira was shocked.

"I need to talk to you."

"About what?" Akira asked.

"I just do. Please."

"Okay, okay."

Shuji led Akira to their usual meeting place, but he left him at the door and walked straight to the edge staring at the ground so far below them. "Anna sked me to go out with her." He said, oddly depressed.

"Seriously?! But didn't she just reject you recently?"

"She said she thought it over a lot, and she wouldn't mind dating me. She said she'd liked you before, but you've been weird lately, so she gave up."

"That's great, Shuji!" Akira lied enthusiastically. Normally, he'd try to stop it, but he saw no point.

"yeah." He said solemnly, but his voice quickened. "But I thought about last year, and Mariko, and why I didn't date her because I saw it as a waste of time. Then I thought, why'd I even ask Anna out in the first place? I didn't think any more of her than I did Mariko. I've decided that I was right to begin with, and I don't really want a girlfriend in high school. Why waste my last year of high school on some girl I'll never see again after this year?"  
Akira was confused. If he'd already made up his mind, why did he even bother asking Akira to talk with him? "So, don't date her."

"I won't."

"Alright then." Akira headed toward the door.

But Shuji's arms where around him before he could even take the two steps to the door. Akira gasped.

"What are you doing, Shuji?!"

Shuji's hot breath tickled Akira's neck. "I don't know. What did I kiss you for? Why was I at your house yesterday? Why do I feel the need to be near you constantly lately? I can't figure it out myself. But don't leave. That I know I couldn't bear."

Akira gasped dramatically, pushing away from his friend with excessively wide eyes and his jaw hanging open loosely. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeh?!"

Shuji sighed and smiled at him cheerfully. "I understand. I'll leave."

Akira stumbled for his friends arm, managing to grasp his uniform just before toppling to the ground. "Don't do that!" he pleaded.

Shuji rolled his eyes and helped him off the ground. "You are so annoying."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"W-h-y?"

"Don't ask me. You're the one that acts that way."

"What way?"

"Idiot." Shuji covered his mouth to suppress a chuckle.

"Why is that funny?" he asked, his face serious.

"It's so rare that you're so serious."

"You're strange."

"Me? I'm not the one in love with a guy."

Akira smiled. He was happy Shuji could be so easy going about the fact that another boy liked him. "That's true." He smiled cunningly at Shuji, throwing an arm over his shoulder.

Shuji eyes him cautiously. "What are you doing?" he asked, the skepticism clear in his voice.

His lips puckered at his friend, who forced his face away from himself, but Akira just laughed hysterically. "I was kidding."

Shuji sulked. "You aren't funny."

"What'd I do?" he asked, still laughing at his own foolish joke.

Shuji didn't answer, so Akira let him go and swat on the ground, staring at the blue sky overhead. Shuji knelt beside him, but didn't look at the cloud or the vast blue sheet covering the earth. He was looking at Akira.

Akira smiled. "I wonder what Nobuko is doing right now."

Shuji froze. Somehow, hearing his friend talking about Nobuko made him angry. He knew it couldn't be helped, and he knew she was far from them, but it enraged him regardless.

Again he didn't answer. They stared at the sky for some time though, sitting silently, until Akira finally stood. "Let's go inside. Class will start soon."

He turned toward the door, but something grabbed his arm. He turned quickly to see his friend staring at him with a bizarre, determined expression across his face. "Shu—"

But before the name could escape his lips, Shuji's where upon them, erasing any and all thoughts that he may have had.


End file.
